You Cannot Force the Things That Matter Most

It is WayMaker Wednesday. Some things run from the chase and come to the calm.

The Question

What are you straining to force right now that would come more easily if you loosened your grip?

The Thought

Try to fall asleep. Really try. Strain for it, demand it, force your eyes shut and order your body to drop. You will lie there wide awake at three in the morning, more alert with every minute you fight for rest. Sleep does not come to the one who chases it. It comes to the one who stops.

Some of the most important things in life work exactly this way. You cannot grip your way to them.

Effort is a magnificent tool. It builds the house, finishes the work, carries the weight. But there is a whole category of things effort cannot seize. Rest will not be forced. Trust will not be rushed. Presence cannot be scheduled. The harder you grasp at being loved, the more you perform and the less you are known. The harder you chase peace, the more it becomes one more thing to achieve.

This is the quiet trap of the high-capacity person. You have won so much through sheer force of will that you try to will your way into the things that only open to surrender. So you strain. And the straining is the very thing holding the door shut.

The skill is knowing which is which. Some doors you push. Some doors you stop pushing, and find they were never locked, only waiting for you to stop shoving.

Loosen your grip. Let it come.

Put It Into Action

Name the grip this week. Find the one thing you are forcing.

• Write down the one outcome you are straining hardest to control right now.
• Ask honestly: is this a build-the-house thing, or a fall-asleep thing?
• If it is the second, do one thing today that loosens your grip instead of tightening it.
• The strongest move is not always the hardest pull. Sometimes it is the open hand.

Send this to someone gripping so hard they cannot see their knuckles have gone white.

Forge Forward,

Jon Mayo